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Email One
Subject: Data Conversion Project Status
Letter Grade: C+

Discussion: The author lets the reader know the purpose of the email in the subject line, but the request for assistance isn't given until the last paragraph. The supporting information is difficult to read because of the layout. Using a bulleted list and headings would allow the readers to read only the information that applies to them. The "go live" deadline is never given.


Email Two

FROM: nohouse.jones@email.com
TO: accounting@HMZ.com
SUBJECT: Moving Problems

I was transferred from the General Accounting Center to Headquarters effective July 1, 20--. My wife and I started looking for homes in June in the Farmington, Cedar Hills, North Ridge, and Roseville areas. However, because of the present state of the local real estate market, we were unable to locate a home that will satisfy our needs at a price that we can afford. Therefore we have decided to build a new home.

Our current residence has sold in the meantime. The closing is taking longer because of the backlog of transactions piling up at the title company. While it usually takes 30 days for the closing, the title company said that it would take between 30 and 45 days. We will then have to move out of our house within 30 days after the closing. For this reason I would like to request a 60 day extension on my travel expenses.

My wife and I plan to rent an apartment or a house when we move. Our preferred location would be either Cedar Hills or Roseville because we think that is where we will build. Because of laws requiring children of opposite sexes to have their own bedrooms, we are anticipating some problems finding a 3 bedroom home with a short term lease. In that case, we will look for housing in our current area.

I am writing this letter for your review in anticipation of the following needs which are beyond the above noted extension time frames. We will need to move two times. We will have to rent a house or an apartment which shouldn't cost more than our current house payments. Depending on the location of our temporary housing, I may have to continue driving from the Bakerton area until our new home is completed.

I hope that you will agree that because of conditions beyond my control, an extension of the expense guidelines is reasonable. Thank you for your careful consideration of this matter.

Very Truly Yours,


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